I had a very frustrating talk with my shrink the other day.
“I know a lot of jerks who are NOT nice people and yet they have still managed to get married and live happily ever after. I don’t understand that. It’s not fair! I’m attractive, I’m fun, I date regularly. Why is it so hard for me to find Mr. Right?”
“Lisa, you don’t have to be a nice person in order to get married,” said the wise psychiatrist, “In fact, a lot of not so nice people find their mates every day.”
*GASP* Then what the heck have I been doing all this time? Did someone change the rule book and not tell me? WTF is going on here?
“Alex, I would like to buy a clue for two hundred please.”
So, let me get this straight. Being a nice person doesn’t matter? The fact that I’m a loyal friend, a good daughter, a loving and responsible pet owner, a decent human being, and add the fact I give elderly people my seat on buses and trains counts for naught?? Apparently not. Damn it!
Well, I guess my consolation prize is knowing I am indeed a nice person. And I am reasonably sure I have some pretty good karma banked – Woo Freaking Hoo. But I understand now that the the sterling qualities I possess are not necessarily required skills to live happily ever after with said husband. Wow, now THAT sucks.
Maybe being a not so nice person is the way to go then? Hmmm. Maybe I should be disrespectful, treat people badly, be thoughtless, behave selfishly and just live in my own zone. Screw the world!
Nah.
So, I guess then I will just live my life. Have fun. Stop and smell the roses. Drink good wine. Try new things. Laugh at bad puns. Eat yummy desserts, (on occasion 
) And I’m just going to trust that when it is meant to be it will happen. And that the wonderful man I want will suddenly just be there. Like he had been there all along. And hopefully he will have been waiting for me too.
I just got to keep the faith…
Unfortunately Lisa I don’t have the answer to your question. I really wish I could say something profound, but I’m sorta in the same boat as you. You are an absolute sweetheart and I know there is a guy out there with top notch qualities for you. Enjoy life to the fullest, and don’t waste time worrying about what if’s – live it up!(Group hug for lisa!)
It’s like this Lisa, Male asshole meets female asshole. They procreate, voila, baby assholes. It’s just a different species.
mr.anon.Why would you want to share someone so nice with a group? If you know that lisa is such an absolute sweetheart, then step up to the plate, and sign your damn name. Maybe that is why you are in the same boat. Lisa, if things get really bad and you decide to go the asshole route, then check out jacob. He is full of junk. Just don’t read his post about inner beauty….Just kidding jacob.
Lisa knows who I am, and she is a good friend of mine. I post as anon for my own reasons. I love how you took a post that praised Lisa (’cause she deserves it) and tried to twist it against it against the poster. Real tactful.
Lisa is a hottie!!!!!!!!!1:)Music
Mr.anon said..” I post as anon for my own reasons. ” Maybe you should seek therapy for your problem?Sure hope nobody else comments on this site as mr. anonymous. I wouldn’t want her to be confused,thinking it was you.
Lisa, I have nothing intelligent to post here (not that, that has stopped me before) . Just want to bask in the anonymity.
Hey Lisa!! I totally hear you. I’m trying to keep the faith too. I mean, it can’t be us, it has to be the men we date, also for me, it may be my location.
But hang in there honey!! Our Prince Charmings are out there somewhere. Perhaps they are in Alaska? Let me know if you ever want to go Igloo melting to find out.
Coincidentally when I was doing laundry earlier, one of my adorable neighbors and I had the same discussion, (which SHE brought up, not knowing about my blog.) We both agreed some of the biggest bitch’s we know have gotten married to awesome guys, (and the women subsequently treat them like dog crap.) What’s with that???
I have a very close friend who is the nicest, sweetest girl ever (and very very pretty) yet she can’t find “the one”. She gets mad when other people get married and they aren’t “nice” people. But – I always look at it as – look at who they are marrying. Would you really want to marry a guy who isn’t nice? Just because these mean people get married, it doesn’t mean that a). its going to work out and b). that they married someone all that great.Hang it there.
Of course, I meant hang IN there.
Lemme see…July 2005. My best friend gets enagaged to the man she met on “that dating site”. My friends from CT and Montreal got MARRIED and they met on “that site.”
Lately I seem to run into men “on that site” who say to me “Hey Suzi who are the great/cool/pretty girls on here?” What am I?? Chopped liver?A close male friend told me “Suz you need to learn how to be a bitch. You’re too nice to men”. Sorry James…not my style (and btw I see you’re on match.com now!
I TRY hard not to lose faith but sometimes it’s difficult. Not that I NEED a man…but I’d like to have one in my life.I agre with Marty about the bad people…hopefully soon it’s gonna be the good guys/girls turn!
I kind of take the view that anything worth having is worth working or waiting for….damn, by the time he shows up I hope he lives up to they hype!
When “he” does finally show up, you make have to dock his love pay for tardiness.It’ll happen, pretty girl, just keep the faith.
Much love!
A hard man is good to find, but it shouldn’t be this hard to find a good man!
And the punning zone begins..
Boo, Hiss! Hehe.
to find a husband… it helps to be hot. are you attractive?
hmmm…wondering how the entire ugly, homely, fat, skinny, unappealing people in this country were able to get married.
BOOHISSS ignorant comment…no wonder it was anonymous!!
Perhaps the most diffucult part about “keeping the faith” is when we have a “When Harry met Sally” moment….and no, not the kind in the 2nd Ave Deli! I mean the moment when we learn that the one we didn’t want, or worse yet, the one who didn’t want US, has committed to spending the rest of their lives with someone else….while we’re still searching for that spark. It’s inevetible that we end up asking “What’s the matter with me?”. Or maybe we’re just asking that in the context of the bad boys…but that’s another entry to your blog, isn’t it LisaB?
Preach it sister!! LOL. My sentiments exactly. I guess we are all on the same page innit..Good luck on finding MR. Right… Shite I am hoping for a few of those encounters…teehee snort snort.. yeah and why is it the ASSHOLES get all of the good stuff. I am starting not to believe this Karma crapola…NAh…
T
I’m sure Mr Right will come, it will likely be when you least expect it too. I think you’re right to keep the faith, I know someone will come along that will really appreciate all your wonderful qualities! Don’t give up!
To answer your question, love must be fallen into. You cannot dive into it as most try to. It’s more of a stumbling over someone you know or meet rather than finding Mr. Right as though he were prey.
It sounds ridiculous, but it’s like something out of ancient human tribal / caveman past. The modern approach somehow kills it off before it ever gets started, or shortly after it does in divorce court.
I met and married my wife of 26 years in Manhattan July 1980. I was 19 she was {edited for self-preservation}. The very night before we met, I was on my way back to my ship (I was in the Navy) penniless, the victim of another floosy stringing me along just to spend my money for as little as she could get away with doing. I made up my mind then and there that I was going to live my life instead of searching for Ms Right (which I had been concerned with since a surprisingly early age). If sometime somewhere along the way we met, grand! If not, ever, that was ok too. And I meant it.
The next day we met. I was marching in a parade with the honor guard from my ship. She gave me a note, and we fell in love over the course of the next several months and were married that December.
I stumbled across your blog while doing a google of Dancing with the Stars trying to figure out what this “lift” business is about that Mario and Joey got reprimanded for last night on the show. I saw your dilemma about “finding Mr. Right” and how the meanest beasts and most dreadful looking cows somehow manage to find guys.
Hope this helped.
Stop looking. It really works.
Anyway, I am not trying to find a friend online or anything as you will see if / when you try to contact me. It’s a bogus email address. But the advice is damned good.
What its really like to be married to those great guys….
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5232678911382910072&q=farting+in+bed
And don’t forget, you heard it here first on Roller Derby…