I have some friends who have just fallen madly in love. They moved on from the single life and have become scary pod people an adoring couple.
“Oh wow, YOU breathe air? I breathe air too! AWWW, that’s so sweet!”
“Honey, that is just SO amazing. Yet another thing we have in common!”
Excuse me while I hurl over the balcony I take a minute to be happy for them.
How the heck does this happen? How do seemingly normal people become Shmoopie people? And it’s not just the women either. The men are right there with them.
“Baby I just want to snuggle with you all night long.”
“You do? Mwah! I love the way you hold me and don’t mind when I steal all the covers.”
“You’re worth being cold for Boo Boo.”
OH MY GAWD. I have entered the twilight zone, a parallel universe the land of gross happy couples.
If you can’t beat them then join them I guess.
I’m striving to be one of those loving couples, but not the kind that make you sick. My guy has the same sharp sarcastic wit that I do, so he’s a little too busy picking on me to be sickly obnoxious like you described and since I must always respond, I’m the same way. And if you ever catch me being one of those couples, smack me, with a shovel. Thanks.
I don’t care how loving I become. I will never call anyone Boo Boo.
Boo Boo? Ugggh, PDA is not really a problem although sometimes it just makes me want to run far away from all the kind and sweet words…One of my friends would say “barf” And I have NO clue how that happens. it’s a real mystery. I’ve been asked for an ongoing booty call situation that did NOT involve any honey you can keep the blanket! So congrats to them and let’s sheer up!
Have a great sunday!
Eventually, though, those “boo-boo’s and schnookims” turn into “you asshole!” and “stop hogging the blanket, bitch!!” Give it time.
Yeah, I’m jaded
That kind of PDA really makes me want to hurl. I don’t mind a little affection–it shows that people are actually alive, unlike a couple Honey and I occasionally spend time with. But they’re a long strange story, so I’ll get back to the point.
The kind of PDA that makes me run for the hills is what you’re describing here–it’s beyond gentle hints to “get a room already, Jeebus!” or “Uh, the shit’s getting deep in here and I forgot my boots.” It’s up to the “Excuse me, but you DO know that every time you call her nuggle-bundle-boo, God kills a kitten?”
Blick.
I work with someone who refers to her husband as “Darling.” It’s enough to make me sick.
“Hello, Darling.”
“What would you like for dinner, Darling.”
Gag!
Lisa, I have so many pet names for my kids that I sometimes forget what their given names are, lol. But when it comes to relationships, I have jokingly called guys names like “buttercup” or “honey dew” when I greet them on the phone, for instance, but they know when it comes right down to it, that I won’t stand for them religiously referring to me as “poopsy” or “snooky” without my getting physically ill in their presence!
I have friends whom I lovingly refer to as “The Honeys” because they start or end each sentence with “honey”. “How are you, honey?”, “Honey, can you take out the trash?”…BLECH! In all the time I’ve known them, I don’t think I’ve ever heard them call each other by their names!
Ohhh, that’s gross. I hate that lovey-dovey crap. It makes me want to barf.
Guilty. It’s a disease!
Leave – I am thrilled you have found a wonderful guy! But I’ll remember about that shovel thingy
Neil – I’m embarassed to admit it was once a nickname I knew well… Long story, don’t ask lol.
Mo – I hear ya! I It’s nice when they share the blanket hehe.
Laurie – LMAO! And ya think?
Serra – I laughed hysterically when I read your comment! You are a RIOT gf!
Stace – I understand!
TJ- “Buttercup and Honey Dew?” EEK, you are one of THEM!
Schnoodlepooh – It can be gross fer sure!
CC – I was wondering who might say something like that. I like the mushy, gushy stuff as well but IN PRIVATE.
I like to keep my distance from those “pod-people”. It’s not that I have anything against those who are deliriously in love…it’s just that diabetes runs in my family…….
“If you can’t beat them then join them I guess.”
Hmmmm, is there something going on that you’re not telling us Lisa??? hehe
We take it to the limit and just call each other “Shmoopie”. For US, it’s kind of sarcastic and funny. My daughter is “Shmoopie, jr.”
It really cracks people up because it sounds so silly and they don’t know where it comes from. I have to explain that it’s one of the best Seinfeld’s ever, “the Soup Nazi” episode.
I would never call anyone boo boo, but must admit to having been one of the schmoopie people at certain points in my life. don’t hate me!
But Lisa… I thought you liked it when I called you Shnoogala! (only kidding) Call me when you get a break in your week. I could use a break here in Florida. I’m homesick like you can’t believe! xo
What? You mean like a threesome?
OMG Lisa! You take that back right now!! lol I am SO not one of them! I have called my friends pet names for as long as I can remember, it’s only when you get into the mushy icky names that you can be branded shmoopie, lol. You think buttercup and honey dew are bad? You should hear some others on my list!!
What is wrong with doubling up on Boo????
Congrats, I think.
Linny – Oh those wacky pod people
Se7en – Um, let me get back to you on that one ok? What a bunch of nosy parkers you bloggers are
Annie – You are Shmoopie! Sorry, couldn’t resist hehe. Funny about your whole family callling each other that.
Lizzie – It happens to the best of us Toots. And I could never hate you!
Last Girl – I DO like it but sheesh did you have to call me that in front of EVERYONE
Miss you Hon, your phone will be ringing later!
D-Man – Don’t you have an oven to go back to
TJ – I take it back…
*giggles behind hand*
Boo – LOL. Fun name eh? And YIKES!!!
GREAT. Now I’ve started my monday morn with a bowl of oatmeal AND puke. Oh well. All ends up the same place anyway.
Eventually, they’ll go from “everywhere sex” (having sex on every surface in the house) to “hallway sex” (passing each other in the corridor and saying, “Fuck you”), so I wouldn’t worry too much about it.
Meanwhile and à propos to nothing, I object to all this sex on the television. I mean, I keep falling off.
lol, I love Seinfeld…
the only pet name I use for my husband is ‘honey’. anything other than that is just gross.
awww my sweet boo boo pie sweetie baby face….wow, I think I just made myself throw up a little bit. The worse is when the ‘pod people’ end up getting stuck in their own little world, never to face the light of day or another human again. scary.
Golfwidow! Funny!
Oh, and let’s not kid ourselves, here. If you were to fall in love for reals, and if that person were to call you schmoopie and make a kissy face at you, well…color yourself goo.
Granted, when it’s all a put-on, it’s all vomitous. No amount of honey-baby-sugar-la-la can hope to cover passive-aggression and narcissistic sociopathology. But I digress.
LB, you scrumptious petit-four
Copyranter – Ah my favorite cynic
Golf Widow – You always make me laugh. Your imagery is too funny! Loved the “lies” on your blog!
Dawn – Welcome and I hear ya!
Heather B. – I often wonder when they come up for air
Trubs – As usual Missy you nailed it. You are correct. And fyi, you are truly one of the most insightful people I have had the pleasure to know. How is Superfly Hunny Bunny doing anyhoo
And thanks for the compliment!
My girlfriend is like this. Drives me nuts. A few of my favorites:
“You make me so happy.”
“I wish I could kiss you all day.”
“I love it when you hold me.”
“Do you want to do it in the butt?”
Well all right, maybe not the last one. But yeah, that shit can get annoying.
Okay, I totally agree that it’s something to do in private. My husband is called by his given name when we are around other people, 100% of the time!
The schmoopieness usually clears itself up somewhere by year 3 or 4 of marriage and/or when offspring arrive. THANK GOD!!
Oh, I can beat ‘em all right. With a baseball bat.
My bad. I thought you said you were going to” join them”, but it must have lost something in the translation.
Heheheeeee.
I think all of us at one time or another have been there. The grass is greener, the sky is bluer, the air smells cleaner, the birds are chirpings, etc…… There are three stages of love, I believe…
1. The new love. The passionate can’t stay away from you type of love.
2. Then there is ‘becoming one’ love—the love that you want to unite with this person forever. It’s comfortable, yet still at the new stages of ‘lusting after them’…
3. Then there is the comfortable content love. The love where you grow old together—the kind of love that bonds you as ‘a family’ now. The newness fades, that “schmoopie lovey dovey’ type of love goes away within time, with trust, and with love as well.
Love changes—some for the better, and some for the worst. Just because you may be on level “3″ does not mean that it is a ‘bad love’—people have the wrong assumption of that.
Ever notice how people will break up within a year or so? Sometimes it’s a case of being addicted to the ‘newnes’. I was one of them. Always needed to find that ‘new fix’.
Great post. Very well written! Thanks for the good read!
OK, as I was guilty of this a while back. The names were Peaches(yes, peaches, and yes that could be freudian reference, but she would never have thought of that!), Bissous-french for kisses, and sweetheart. But SPARINGLY, as not to be YUCKY sweet. Those couples just plain piss me off. Oh yeah, and I learned something yesterday, speaking of annoying couples-Don’t ever ask a newly married uber-Christian couple what’s new and exciting on their honeymoon. They will just laugh at you, and you will be embarased when you realize the faux pas that you have just made.(and please may I not have to explain this one….)
I blame it on hormone secretion. It is rather disgusting as a matter of fact I can feel the bile in the back of my throat. EGADS knows I’d never be one of those crazy people… Wooo. Good luck LB Let us know when you have joined them..
Armaedes – Yet another of my favorite cynic’s! I think you are a TOTAL softie underneath.
*ducks*
CC – Thank GAWD, a sane person
Nat – Nice to know there is an end in sight!
Allison – Very funny!
D-Man – Who are you, Bill Murray?
Deb – Thanks as always for your awesome comments! You wrote some very thought provoking things… and I appreciate it!
Moket – PEACHES? I’m gonna hurl
And LOL @ the “uber-christian couple”
Tanisha – My blogger friends will be the FIRST to know
I know I use this saying to death (it’s too great not to) but some people really need beat over the head with their own shin bone.
I admit to saying stuff like that in private with my boyfriend, but we have enough sense to restrain ourselves in public. The general feeling of bitterness in the comments is, I think, somewhat unfair. Cute coupledom is nothing to be ashamed/disgusted about, but I do agree that some couples take it a bit too far and often in places where it is most disturbing to other people. I remember being in my university library (during a time when most were going insane due to exams and essay deadlines) and this couple at the desk next to mine sucking at each other so much I thought their faces would cave in. That’s gross.
[...] It’s also the first Valentine’s Day that I’ve been single on in about four years, but I’m not complaining. A lot of people espouse bitterness and hatred — whether it’s real or feigned — towards everyone who has someone special when Valentine’s Day comes around, but I’m not in that boat. Personally, I’m happy for every couple that’s been lucky enough to find someone to love; I enjoy nothing more than being one of those shmoopie people. [...]
Gawd that was funny!