I’m starting to feel like an anthropologist as I watch the mating habits of people at the gym.
Sigh. I go to the gym to work out, not to score a date! I don’t want to be one of those women who put on full make-up to exercise, only to sweat it off 45 minutes later. And I loathe those snippy hussies/bimbos/wenches by the way. You know the type, no t-shirt and sweatpants for them, oh no. They look like this:
*&%$@! And they constantly check out the room to see how their “look” is being received. Come-hither smiles are gleamed towards the hot men. Nasty glares are leveled at the competition. And if your body is a work in progress? These are the women that look you over and smirk, making you feel the size of a house. Next time Dr. Phil does a segment about exercise and fitness, he should “get real” and visit a gym. Forget women cheering each other on. It’s survival of the fittest! It’s a jungle out there.
When did the gym become a battleground? Or a version of Match.com?
Exactly the reason why I thoroughly hate the gym… it’s the same here in Dutchyland..
“Doctor” [of what?] “Phil should get real” [why? faux intelligence is working so much better for him] “and visit a gym” [well, he would, but then the hardbodied men with the sweet six-packs would look upon him with scorn and he would feel belittled and ashamed. not that he'd admit it].
Hey Lisa!
What gym are you going to????? You should join mine! Everyone and ther mutha is fat and happy and just trying to get in shape. (Not to imply that you need to be overweight) but the people there are “real”. And everyone talks to everyone- but not in the ‘meat market’ type of way. Come over to my fitness center. Then we can head out for some cocktails…. I know, defeating the whole entire purpose, huh?
Hey, guys do it, too; I’ve seen it. For some people, the gym is just a bar without the alcohol; a place to hook up.
EEWWWW! Hussies.
I stopped going to the gym because it was more like a singles pick-up and show-off-your-body place. I was too self conscious because I was dressed in baggy shorts and a t-shirt and was sweating. Those other folks looked like models and they don’t sweat! How do they do that?!
DutchBitch – Some things definitely are the same wherever you live!
Golfwidow – Meow!
Deb – It’s about a block from my apt. and is one of the popular but less trendy, (read less $$$.) Or so I thought anyway
Bruce – Ugh.
Sophmom – Indeed!
Schnoodlepooh – Beats me how they don’t sweat. Some secret formula? Weird, huh?
Great post! I’ll machine next to you anytime.
It’s for exercise, hard working exercise. Heavy breathing, yes but not from looking. Sweating, yes but not from worrying how you look.
Put a lounge next door if they must.
You are SO right on. Here’s what I do, which results in me feeling superior and also trying not to choke with laughter. As each one of these gymwhores gives you a death glare, imagine her doing: 1. forcing herself to vomit after eating a PowerBar, 2. contracting an STD from a guido after picking him up at a nightclub or the gym, 3. Getting screamed at by her boss at her receptionist job, or 4. Her in 10 years, when she looks like Magda from “There’s Something About Mary”.
It can be just as intimidating for us guys who are a work in progress. Small gyms are where it’s at!!!!
Where else ya gonna meet a decent guy? At a bar? No. At church? Sorry, they are all married in my age group. At work? Gotta get a job first! At the library? Its always deserted!
My friends wanted me to join Curves or Contours but that would defeat the purpose, wouldn’t it?
You mean it’s a jungle gym? I prefer to get my exercise at home, or at a bar or even better… none at all!
I’ve seen those gym bimbos get irate when somebody checks them out. They do that, I think to get even more attention. Who Knows. But if they’re gonna wear white tights, bare middrift and lots of cleavage, I’m gonna notice. A couple of times. Or More. So have me arrested. I’m equally annoyed with the grunting/yelling free weight dudes. Don’t even get me started on the ones who hog the machines while they chat up the bimbos in the white tights.
I love going to the gym and having sex with women at the treadmills, then with women at the other exercise machines, and at the front desk, and the orgy in the women’s shower. Then I wake up, am very disappointed, and have to get it on with the self-pleasuring.
Whenever I wear my Schiffer suit to the gym, they ask me to leave. Unless I’m in Chelsea.
I go to the gym to see the chicks in those outfits.
Then I go home to “work out”
Paul – Thanks! And smart idea about the lounge.
Miss Trubs – Now THAT is a great list! LMAO @ “gymwhores”
Seamus – I never thought about that with guys. Interesting…
Miss C – Well said.
Se7 – A jungle gym would be fun! Especially for the monkeys
Bud – ROFLMAO about “Grunting/yelling free weight dudes.” Too funny and very true!
Mal Snay – TMI
The Retro – OK, I’ll bite, what’s a Schiffer suit?
Andy – Oy
Exactly why I dread starting pool physical therapy–it’s only offered at the local health club. Like I need MORE things to be anxious about.
I’ve never been to a gym, but that sounds AWFUL!
Hey Lisa: Happy New Year! You are to be commended for working out. I restarted two weeks ago. This is a great first step in the New Year/New Life department. Way to go! Forget about those plastic people! They frankly turn me off! lol!!
It’s what Claudia is wearing up there.
I couldn’t agree more, Lisa. The only reason I ever attended gyms like yours was when it was included in tuition! And lemme tell you… sorostitutes at a southern university rival NYC hussies any day! LOL
I’m proud of you for sticking with it and can’t wait to see you again soon.
Post some video of yourself on the leg-spreader machine, and let US be the judge of all this!
This is why I love the “Y!” I rarely see any of that stuff happening there. It reminds me of that bad old flick with Jamie Lee Curtis and Travolta…”Perfect.”
They are the Desperate Gymbunnies, aching for any parcel of attention! May they trip on their treadmills!
And that is just one more great reason why I exercise at home with a DVD, or outside in nature!
I loathe gyms.
I would have posted a comment sooner, but it took me a long time to find something to clean up the mess I made after seeing the Claudia pic.
The D-man needs no gym! He is quite content staying home watching his pilates dvd…
Serra – I hear ya. But I will say PT really works so try and ignore the hussies
Dawn – Not always lol.
Michael – Thanks! And Happy New Year back atcha!
The Retro – Ohhhhhh…. Must have been having a blonde moment
Oob – Thanks dear. Hope to see you soon as well! As for those Southern soro gals? Oh I remember all too well!
Zen – Don’t hold your breath on that one.
Nat – I just wish the Y was closer! And unfortunately I saw “Perfect” lol.
Annie – It’s just easier for me to bite the bullit and go. They have everything I need there. I hear ya though!
TF – WAY Tmi!!!
D-Man – I had no idea so many of you worked out at home
It’s been a while since I’ve been in the gym, but being as I used to work out at my alma mater (rates for the gym were insanely low), I think the experience was a little different. The was the occasional hot chick, but for the most part everyone was dressed in comfortable work out clothes and spent time actually working out.
Fortunately, (or unfortunately) most of the women in my gym are hideous.
I’m actually not sure whether some are in fact women.
Being a gym rat 5 days a week now, I decided at the beginning of my workout journey that these sorts of women were to be pitied and on a good day, ridiculed. So, as I perform my Stairmaster ritual, it’s a given that when Bambi or whatever her name is sidles up next to me wearing sixteen ounces of the latest cologne knock-off, I immediately fake sneeze. Multiple times until one of the owners, who know me well enough by now, begins to laugh and now it’s a team effort. For those women who choose to shelack their face in layers of what can only be used for window caulking, I have found offering white towels with the phrase “will that come out?” as they wipe their brow a method worthy of Seinfeld sarcasm. Or I spray off the bars where they rested their head. I know, a little over the top but HEY I AM WORKING OUT HERE NOT AUDITIONING FOR A HOOTERS COMMERCIAL.
Whew. I need an oreo now.