As I have no shame, (and no original ideas today neither,) I stole this from two of my favorite charmers, Seamus and Golfwidow.
As you read this I want your imagination to wander aimlessly, run amok, or simply get creative.
Here’s the game: please tell a story about a completely made up and fictional memory of you and me. It can be anything you want but it has to be fake.
Ready to play?
This is going to be good!
We’ve known each other a long time. I consider you to be one of my closest blogfriends. That’s why I’ll never ask you to reimburse me for bailing you out that time.
(But I do hope you’ll return my black latex miniskirt someday. I have to earn a living too, you know.)
Hmmm, so many memories, so little space, where do I start? Remember the time we rolled that drunk couple in the 57th street subway station? We were spotted by a cop as we were walking away and we had to run for the next train pulling out. Man, that cop was two steps behind us as the doors closed and the train pulled out just in time! We only got 10 bucks and an old Rolex replica but it sure was a lot of fun! LOL
We grew up together in the South. You became rich and famous. I became poor and peculiar.
Remember when we were in that band together? We used to go out after band practice and shoot pool at the bar next door. There was the one time where it was just you, me, and the drummer. We were out till like 2 am shooting pool and drinking shots. Holy cow were we shnookered. But dammit, the more you drank, the better you shot! Figures. Anyway, I believe that was the evening that I revealed my secret band crush on you. It was kind of hard not to have one, considering you good looks and all the time I spent playing behind you and looking at that nice ass of yours. Anyway, I do believe you were too drunk to remember me extoling my undying love for you.
Right?
Remember that time when we went to that rockin party in Vegas and got soooo drunk? We woke up in bed together without a single memory of the night before and then that hot guy came out of the bathroom and then a second hottie came into the hotel room with breakfast for us. Turned out we each married one of the hotties in a ceremony performed by an Elvis impersonator. It’s a good thing that Vegas offers quickie divorces as well as quickie marriages. We both swore on the plane ride home that we’d never drink that much ever again. Wow that was such a great trip.
oh yeah! remember the time we went skinny dipping with those 2 dorks and then stole their clothes and ran once they got in the water? that rocked!!!
I was shocked when I went to get my luggage and saw you holding a sign that said “Thinking Fool,” written in cursive no less. I figured the company really wanted me to work for it if it sent a driver to pick me up in the middle of the night. When you dropped me off at my hotel, I felt really bad. It wasn’t until that moment that you realized I am Thinking Fool, not Thinking Tool. Oh well, the danger of writing in cursive.
Remember when I asked you to the prom, and you were all like “PFFFT! I’m waiting for BILLY to ask me ’cause he’s on the football team.” And then I was crowned Prom King and WHO’S LAUGHING NOW?!?!
Golfwidow – The check is in the mail, my friend! As for the skirt, well it didn’t survive…
Se7en – I was kinda pissed it wasn’t a real rolex though. Good times!
Marty – Never a dull moment!
Vince – I actually DO remember. I was just wondering if you were ever going to say anything!
Leave – And that was one fine breakfast!
Dawn – They were pretty pissed off, yes?
Thinking Fool – I know, my handwriting is not the best…
Retro – Will you ever forgive me?
Remember when we met in NY– I was shoe shopping at Nordstroms & came across some terrific deals. You came in as I was leaving & let out a big 4-letter-er when the salesman told you I had purchased all the really cool shoes in your size (’cause I wear the same size too). You followed me outside & tried to make me put down all my boxes so you could see the shoes, & I yelled, “Go away you… you… shoe freak!” And you yelled back at me, “Who do you think you are, you… you… shoe whore!” We commenced to throwing shoes at each other, & soon we were arrested for creating a public nuisance. The judge took all your $ and all my shoes for bail & tossed us out on the street. We ended up back at the scene of the crime where we found one pair of Chloe wedges laying in the gutter. We each took one shoe & promised to remain friends so that when you come to see me, you get to wear the pair, & when I visit you, I get to wear them. We’re sole sisters now
Remember the time we went skinny dipping with Dawn and my dorky friend and then you and she stole our clothes and ran once we got in the water? I just have one thing to say…. Be afraid my dear; be very afraid.
Lisa and I won the senior talent show at our high school by performing “I’m Gonna Wash That Man Right Out Of My Hair,” dressed in beach towels and flip flops! Hliarity ensued when Lisa’s towel came unwrapped to reveal that flesh-colored bodysuit she was wearing underneath!
Remember when you fixed me up with your old “just a friend” Marty but forgot to mention to me how poor he was until after I was head-over-heels for his poor southern self? Well, we’re still together and we’re still poor with all these chil’ren runnin’ ’round. Geesh. Thanks a whole lot.
Wow, I have been busy!
Carolyn – My sole sista/shoe ho pal
Bruce – That was you? Oops.
Nat – It would have been ok if the key light hadn’t been on me…
Sophmom – The kids are cute anyhoo!
I was doing the bi-annual clean out the crap from under the bed thing over the weekend and found that tape (yes, cassette tape, we are that old love!) that we made that time at the mall, you know at one of those places where you pick a song and get to record a tape “just like a rock star”. I found my old walkman, too (man, am I dating myself or what??) put in the tape and WOW – our rendition of “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” brought tears to me eyes.
We missed our calling sister! xoxo
I’d love to tell you, Lisa, but I don’t think it’s appropriate for a public forum such as this. Next time, you bring the quacamole!
I will never forget the night at Alderman Pass. There we were, recently released from Origami School, armed to the teeth, and ready to PARTY. Sure enough, the Army of Machete-bearing Ballerinas (or AMB, as they were known) came pouring down from the mountainside, turning, leaping, drooling with rage. You looked at me, and I at you, and we knew – Tchaikovsky can kiss our big ol’ spankin’ BUTTS.
“Tonight it ends!” You screamed. How impressive you were, as you unleashed your papers from their rest, holding them forward against the raging horde like a defiant conductor casting her angry wand at the unruly kettledrum section.
Oh yes, it was on.
We fought as unleashed demons, howling our lamented souls unto the living earth. They came fast, hard…many armed with some sort of mutated nutcracker. But this was our night, Lisa…our night. What piroutte or plie was ever a match against your deadly chicken origami attack? What vicious third posiion could hold fast against my mighty unicorn a la bladerunner? They were lost, driven and defeated into the green-room wasteland of forgotten point shoes. Some say the battle was over before it ever began.
Our deeds, our legacy, are now memories whispered in the dark. Tales told by the old and the forgotten. But I will never forget, Lisa Wherever there is injustice, we will be there. Wherever there is misfortune, we will answer. Wherever there is a bad encore of Stravinsky, we will fight!
And I still have point shoes hanging on my wall.
Kathryn – At least it wasn’t an 8 track, right? I miss being a rock and roll chick.
Mal Snay – I appreciate your discretion.
Jarod – I love that our legacy lives on!
And I never looked at Gelsey Kirkland the same way again…
Hey, remember that time I came into the city to see you, we went out for drinks, met those weird people from Nebraska, and yadda yadda yadda..I am still trying to repay my husband for the bail money we had to borrow! Good times!!!
Well, there was that Thelma and Louise-like spree back in the day….
Shoot. I was sworn to secrecy on that…….
How about those three years that you and my brother were dating?
I thought for sure you’d be my sister-in-law someday
it’s not a very interesting story, but I remember it as if it were… well it’s been a while, so the details are a little hazy.
I was at the bus station, I remember that. I was at the ticket window. I had just bought a ticket to the big city. In fact, I’d bought the last one. They told you the bus was sold out and I remember how nice you were to the woman in the ticket window. And then you ran after me, because she’d told you I had just bought the last ticket.
“Hey, Mister,” you said. “I’ll give you a hundred bucks for that ticket.”
“Wow,” I said. “It’s a deal.”
What you didn’t know was that I wasn’t even going to the big city. I’d just bought that ticket because I had a coupon and I also had this compulsive shopping thing going on. Yeah, I was a mess. But that was a long time ago.
Anyway, you told me you didn’t have the hundred bucks. And I was more than happy to give up the ticket anyway, so I handed it to you. And then you handed me a slip of paper. You had written “lisabindacity.com” but I had no idea what that meant.
Oh that’s right, I was supposed to contact you so you could send me the hundred bucks. How silly of me that I never collected. Oh well, at least I had that coupon!
Remember when we met up in Palm Springs over Spring Break? Probably not. I spent most of the night holding your hair while you threw up in the toilet, but I did get one picture of you taking body shots off of that male stripper.