What women get and men don’t:
How much we love having a good manicure and pedicure.
When my cute new sandals reveal my perfectly polished toes, I am officially a goddess. And it feels good!
Being a woman requires regular and ongoing pain:
Think childbirth, bikini waxes, in-laws, and high heeled shoes. Nuff said.
When you call, text, or email to say “I’m thinking about you,” it means the world.
We’re kinda gooey that way.
A bad hair day is grounds for a completely crappy day:
Trust me, it just is.
When we say “I’m fine” in a clipped tone of voice I can guarantee we’re not happy:
I suggest you don’t take that one at face value. You’re in BIG trouble, dude. Start groveling now.
When we have our periods we are not happy campers:
And there is no reasoning with us. Don’t even try. Go away unless you want to be in the line of fire. But don’t forget to call in constantly so we don’t feel ignored.
When we say, “It’s not YOU, it’s ME,” we’re lying:
We’re trying to spare your feelings. The door is that way. Buh bye.
When we ask “How was your day” we really mean it:
Well, sorta.
It’s all about shoes.
What part of that is not clear?
Well now…I feel so educated. There’s more to a woman than I had originally thought. I didn’t see anything in your post about housework or cooking.
In any case, I’m printing this out and carrying it around. This should be required reading for every male!
Would you repeat all that please? LOL *ducks and runs away*
Polished toes and cute sandals are definitely near the top of my list.
seriously. if I leave the house with a chipped pedicure, I feel like a ghetto skank….lmao! it’s true!
Every one of those is spot on! But in-laws don’t always have to be painful right?
I am printing, laminating and handing that one out – BRAVO!
Very good points. I totally get it.
Also, that whole communication thing? Works best when we’re actually, you know. Communicating. That means more than “you talk and I listen and talk.” It means we BOTH listen to EACH OTHER. There. Was that so hard?
I said, “WAS THAT SO HARD????”
Yes, I did need to shout, since you don’t seem to have heard me the first time.
And that list goes on, I’m sure, but I get it, I really do. Hey you can come up to the studio with Deni if you want. That’d be cool.
And for all of these reasons, my dear, is why it’s best I don’t own a gun!
LOL! ;-D
@ Slick – I’m happy to help with your education! As for housework and cooking? Those are concepts I’m not familiar with
@ Se7en: I’m gonna hurt you bad! LOL.
@ Dagny: Glad you agree!
@ Dawn: LMAO @ “ghetto skank!” I feel the same way by the by with nasty chipped polish.
@ Guest: Welcome! And thank you! Oh and I wouldn’t know about the in-laws, it just seems a lot of woman I know complain about theirs.
@ Kathryn: I am very honored – thanks!
@ Schnoodlepooh: Of course you do!
@ GW: You are talking about someone else right? Not me?
@ Bud: You are very evolved and I have no doubt you do get it
As for the studio? I just might!
@ Carolyn: Wise move my friend
Looks like a list worthy of any refrigerator door. Here’s a similar thought:
There is a new study just released by the American Psychiatric Association about women and how they feel about their asses. The results are pretty interesting:
1. 5% of women surveyed feel their ass is too big.
2. 10% of women surveyed feel their ass is too small.
3. The remaining 85% say they don’t care; they love him;
he’s a good man and they would have married him anyway.
I have come to learn all of these things in my many years of marriage. Here’s a few you missed:
I have nothing to wear – this will be true even if there is a closet full of clothing. It usually means the outfit you want to wear is hanging in the closet, but you don’t have either a matching blouse, or matching shoes, or both.
I’m not in the mood for THAT (insert favoite sexual thing) tonight – means I never liked it in the first place but did it while we were dating to make you happy. Now that we’re married I’m never going to again.
I suppose you can do (insert favorite activity) – really means Yeah, you COULD do that right now but when you come home the locks will be changed and all you stuff will be on the front lawn.
Lastly, I’ve learned that if a woman says “I’m fine”, she’s lying. However, she probably doesn’t want to talk to you right then anyway, so you can pretend she’s telling the truth.
My, but you seem to have brought out unanimous females assent.
I get them all, especially pain, except, shoes and, nails, unless doing then is fun. Fun is good.
But otherwise, why? I’ve just always brushed it off as, it’s a girl thing – don’t try to understand it, just think, huh – wonder why?
If the continuity of the Human Race depended on me bearing a child, we’re extinct.
OK… I am saving this for the “How to be the DutchBitch’s boyfriend” manual!
Amen to that sistah!
“We’re kinda gooey that way.”
yes, you guys are kinda “gooey”, aren’t you?!
I’d add this tenth stipulation:
“When we want, we can – and sometimes do – change the Woman Code without warning.”
Because, you know, if a man called in constantly, it would drive me CRAZY!
I have always wanted to say “I’m fine,” and mean it. Never works.
Some do get it – just the hard way! LOL
(Of course I meant a man. The whole theme here is “What Women Get And Men Don’t.”)
What’s hair?
@ Mizmell: That really made me laugh! And thanks
@ Vince: You are most evolved, Vince. And LMAO @ the sexual act thingy.
@ Paul: Told you the women get it!
@ DutchBitch: Cool
@ MistressM: Amen indeed!
@ Cajun: Ewww
@ Annie: Agreed we get to change all stipulations WHENEVER!
@ Hoss: I bet ;–)
@ Seamus: Good point! LMAO!
@ GW: So noted.
@ D-man: Not yours I’m guessing
Very funny! (although, you know, totally against my “honesty is the best poilicy” approach to relationships.)
But, Vince, I have to call you on this: I’m not in the mood for THAT (insert favoite sexual thing) tonight – means I never liked it in the first place but did it while we were dating to make you happy. Now that we’re married I’m never going to again.
I will guarantee you that if the man knew how to do that right, she’d be right there with you!!
you remain ‘da man’
in a girly way
promise means promise, not, “i’m saying this to be nice”
to us, it’s a strong word, don’t play with it
Kat,
Believe me, it’s not a question of performance, as there were no complaints on her end previously. However, I was thinking more along the lines of something the gentleman in the relationship really enjoys versus something the lady in the relationship enjoys. Cause let’s face it, all a lady to do is hint at her man that she’s in the mood for some sort of action and he’s THERE BABY.
What women get and men don’t…
Sex!
Or is that “what women get and married men don’t”?
Hilarious! You got it right!
Came over from Slicks~
I’m with you on the “I’m fine,” comment. When I say “I’m fine” it actually means I want to tear your head off and feed the rest of your body to vultures. Obviously!
And if the shoes are sandals that show off your pedicure? So much the better.
Good one & I agree with them all!
I must confess my husband loves to get manicures & pedicures with me sans the finger & toe nail polish. And it has an added benefit because when he goes with me he pays for mine too!
aaaamen to the ongoing pain! …and the “gooey” part, but don’t tell anyone I said that.
I stopped trying to figure women out a very long time ago; it was a waste of my time. Could be why I don’t have anyone in my life and really don’t expect to at any time in the future.
You know, a bad hair day can ruin my day too. Just saying (but I’m being serious).
But this list is pretty cool. Thanks for posting. =+)
I’m thinking about you.
I need a pedi for sure! “I’m fine” means, “leave me alone before I stuff smelly socks down your throat until you gag and drown in your own vomit.” Makes me all warm and fuzzy.