It’s early in the morning, I am about to get bloodwork done, and I am NOT happy about it.
Lisa: “I don’t want to get my bloodwork done today. It’s the Friday before a holiday, and all the good phlebotomists will be off duty and they will probably have icky doctors with pick axes puncturing my arm.”
Hot Cute Fun Guy: (mock sympathy) “Oh poor you! It’s just going to be horrible! Especially since all the good phlebotomists are probably running amok in the Hamptons about now. In fact the lab is going to be so awful that I bet there will be a lobotomist instead of a phlebotomist.”
Lisa: (begins to laugh in spite of herself) “Oh shut up.”
HCFG: (smirks and gives Lisa a big hug) “Ruined a perfectly good pout by making you laugh didn’t I?”
Lisa: “Harumph.”
(After a year away, the lovely and amazing Dr. Annie Dennison is back and blogging. And I couldn’t be happier – welcome back, my friend! Check out Annie’s site here.)
Thank you for clearing up something I had been wondering about for a while. In all those celebrity weeklies that I read, the buzz has been that the Hamptons are so “over.” All those movie directors, investment bankers and idle rich are giving up on their former must-have $350,000-per-summer rental cottages and are vacationing in the Poconos or at Lake of the Ozarks while the phlebotomists are running wild, dancing naked on bar tops, puking on the pristine seashore, and generally causing trouble at all those effete sushi restaurants formerly inhabited by Billy Joel, Barbara Streisand, Martha Stewart, P. Diddy, etc.
I liked the image of doctors with pick axes. Not sure if this pick-axe visual reminded me of the Seven Dwarfs hi-ho’ing their way off to work or of something more macho, however.
From Lisa B.: Really funny imagery, CleverPoet, of phlebotomists running wild!
Well done
LOL, don’t ya love a guy like that?
From Lisa B.: Ya do indeed
Are you saying these people are supposed to be trained for that sort of thing?
That answers a lot of questions.
I’m glad you’re getting a smile drawn from you by HCFG before being drawn from by a scowling person wishing they were off.
From Lisa B.: I will say that phlebotomists are MUCH better at drawing blood than your average Doctor or Nurse. At least in my experience.
Glad to see that love hasn’t made you give up “harumph.”
From Lisa B.: David, I would sooner stop breathing
There is nothing worse than a bad phlebotomist. HCFG obviously has yet to experience one.
From Lisa B.: I agree that bad ones are the pits. Nothing like having someone miss your vein 4 zillion times. *Shudders*
Oh and HCFG responded to you below!
So, now that you’re back to blogging, can you fill us—your adoring fans and readers—on the whole HCFG situation?
From Lisa B.: Patience my dear grasshopper, patience!
Is everything OK? Hope you’re well. =+)
From Lisa B.: I’m good Hon, thanks. After a certain age though it’s always something
I had to get stuck on Saturday. The dude was horrible! I have never had my arm hurt that much when someone stuck a needle in it! Hopefully your guy was better than mine.
BTW, had to reschedule my training so I’ll by in NYC in November. I’ll shoot you a note closer to the date to see if you’ll be in town. Looking forward to meeting up!
From Lisa B.: Vince, isn’t that the worst! I have been there with the hideous bruises to prove it.
Next time ask for a “butterfly needle.” And tell them you have horrid veins. Then maybe just maybe you will get someone who actually knows what they are doing. Works for me!
Hope to see you in November
I was not being snarky at all. I was simply pointing out that all phlebotomists are twisted bitter people who are trying to exact revenge from all of humanity for some perceived insult. Sort of like meter maids. So taking it personally is not exactly a good idea. And of course, since they’re all so bitter, the “B Team” that’s on duty right before a long weekend couldn’t possibly be any more twisted and bitter than the “A Team.” In fact, they might actually have some tiny little bits of compassion left and as a result, might actually cause less pain than the regular staff.
Besides, I am the only one who is allowed to be grumpy about anything to do with the upcoming day at that hour of the morning. Lisa’s complaining about the blood test was just a cheap attempt to elbow me off center stage. I can’t possibly let that stand un-challenged. I had to pop her balloon quickly, to get things focused back on what’s important, namely, my lack of caffeine and my lack of enthusiasm for getting up way too early
BTW, Dagny, I have so experienced bad phlebotomists. I can take the long view. A year from now, the world’s worst phlebotomist will still be the world’s worst phlebotomist, living the same sort of life. I’ll be off to a wilder, wackier adventure, hopefully with LisaB in tow. That is revenge enough. I’ve also experienced lobotomists, but that is another story for another day.
From Lisa B.: Ah my dear HCFG, where to begin?!
Thank you for your lack of snark. As to the morning thing, I’m not sure where the rule came about that says only YOU get to be the grump in the early hours. While you may get the a.m. tude the majority of the time, I reserve the right to have the grumpies as well. I kid of course. We are so nauseatingly shmoopie in the mornings that most people would either burn with jealousy or want to hurl into a bucket
I’m looking forward to all our future adventures!
That Fun Guy is just too witty isn’t he?
You guys were in Maine? Do tell. And why didn’t I know? We could have had fun poking fun at our fellow blog buddies. Did you have the Pup too? Shelby will be shattered that she couldn’t meet a new friend.
From Lisa B.: He is witty indeed!
We were in Maine and it was great fun. I will write about our adventures soon
Does the phlegmologist advise about phlegm? Hope your phlegm is well.
From Lisa B.: That would be phlebotomist not phlegmologist
Vampires are cool.
From Lisa B.: As if!
It’s a good sign that HCFG can make you laugh even with having blood taken looming over your head!!
I was supposed to have my bloodwork back in April and I still haven’t gotten around to it… not one of my favorite things!
From Lisa B.: HCFG is indeed good that way
I loathe it too, but would rather get it out of the way rather that have it hanging over my head.
Bloodwork is only painful if you are sober, tense, or alone. I say take the HCFG and a bottle of good wine to the phlebotomist..and ask for a small gauge needle. You hardly feel them and they don’t bruise. But what will you care? You will be drunk and giddy with HCFG.
SO GLAD YOU ARE HAPPY!!!! We must chat soon.
Lisa B! I just got my laptop back from the shop and had to stop by. You’ve given me a great idea for an unwanted cell phone interruption. “I’m sorry, I can’t talk right now. I’m at the phlebotomists!” …:D)lol!!!!!!
Hey, darlin’. It’s nice to come by to such fine updating, well, except the blood-letting part. Y’all enjoy. There’s nothing like a HCFG who’s also obviously good at stringing words together. Well done, Lisa!
Funny thing: When I was really young I thought a lobotomist WAS a phlebotomist. Good one on me….
Ya’ll are just too funny! Sounds like you’ve met your snark mate, hehe!
I saw a labotomist the other day. Luckily, he didn’t see me first! I’m taking my dog to the fleabotomist this afternoon.
I love how many times you said phlebotomist in this post!!
Thanks for the mention and the link, sweetie! It’s good to be back.
What’s REALLY exciting, though, is the new love in your life.
So happy for you…