Dear Con Ed,
I really appreciate that you are fixing the street to offer me better service – that’s very gracious of you! Especially in view of the fact that my electric bill went up 30% this summer. It’s so nice to know I’m getting something for my money. I just can’t begin to tell you how much I love about the way I love the smell of napalm in the morning a monopoly!
However, I really don’t enjoy sparks raining down on me nice Flashdance homage though as you slash ginormous pipes, not to mention potholes so large you could lose an entire family, filthy smelly gravel mixed with tar, and my personal favorite, eliminating most of the street parking for OVER A MONTH. Plus the fact that I see no signs of you leaving anytime soon is a bit disturbing. That takes the concept of “asphalt jungle” to a new level!
Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter. I look forward to resolving buh bye already this situation soon.
Kindest Regards,
Lisa B.
And now for something completely different!
Something new is coming to Lisa B in Da City later in the week. I hope you’ll have some big fun with it – I know I’m going to!
Stay tuned…
oooh, intrigued.
Yuck to construction where you live… I can only imagine the noise!!! Hope you are well and I agree that we need to meet up again soon. Miss ya! xox
I’m always reminded of Lily Tomlin in situations like this:
“We’re the phone company, what are you going to do?”
Monopolies are indeed a wonderful thing: if you own the monopoly.
I know–hire that guy that used to move Seinfeld’s car across the street to park your car!
I hate that smell of tar, especially when it’s on a hot steamy city street. I feel your aggravation and smell that awful tar, as if your very nerve endings were zapped through my pc screen this instant and the wires LITERALLY seared my skin with hot stinking tar from the very street you live on! There’s literally nothing worse than ongoing city improvement projects that involve tar, asphalt, or sewage lines. And of course, our ongoing taxes paid to fund them.
Can’t wait for the big reveal!
Damned electric companies. I could insert TXU instead and say a lot of the same things.
Looking forward to seeing what is coming up.
Asphalt jungle! Good one!
Can’t wait for the surprise!
Our signs used to say, temporary inconvenience – permanent improvement.
That sign guy, what a sense of humor.
What, what’s coming?
They love to fix the freeways around here during rush hour… go figure!
Hmmm, I wonder what you’ve got up your sleeve!
Street parking? They really do HAVE that in NYC?
Ooooohsuspense!
Lisa, your temporary inconvenience is the price you pay for civilized life. I’d hate to see your reaction if the city has to replace the sewers. It’s time to be a good citizen and a big girl.
@ Mark: Welcome to my blog!
And I see from your IP address you are from Con Ed. Thanks for sharing your thoughts… point noted
You’d think that could at least give a completion time line – guess it’d be too much to ask, huh?
I like surprises!
I can’t believe all the utility companies that have a complete monopoly. What are ya gonna do?
I can’t figure out why every new home (they pop up overnight here) can’t be automatically built with solar panels and such. It should be the law or something.
The most frustrating thing about this particular construction job is the confusion about parking on Lisa’s street. Most construction jobs put up signs saying, “No Parking” with a list of times and dates. Not here. Instead of signs followed by towing anybody who didn’t comply, the contractor actually had somebody sitting in a car round the clock, walking up and down the street shooing people that tried to park there.
Even without the towing peek-a-boo, there’s the small matter of glop. If you don’t know where to park, you run the risk that you’ll find your car next to a chemical-belching asphalt truck, leaving it covered with who-knows-what residue that will eat the paint down to the steel.
The result: Lisa and I had to park three blocks (a half mile) away from her place and carried a ton (almost literally) of stuff from our weekend away back to her place, because all the spaces in front were barricaded up and the “Parking Elf” was visibly lurking at the other end of the block.
The other interesting thing is the commenter from Con Ed: it’s interesting that they apparently have at least one person watching the blogosphere, looking for mentions of Con Ed that might be bad for their image, and commenting on them. Not sure his reply will change many peoples’ opinions of utilities in general and Con Ed in particular. I’m guessing he’s not a PR guy, by the way, so he may not be commenting “officially.” So I’m not worried that Lisa will suddenly be plunged into darkness by an irate corporate giant exacting one more small bit of inconvenience… Whew!
Daayam Lisa, I can see why you’re dating him!!! Woot!
The town next to mine likes to close the right lane during rush hour and put the sign two inches away from where you need to merge. No warning, no nothing. And, they also don’t close it everyday, so its a toss up as to whether you’ll be stuck with your blinker light on for 10 minutes. Utitlies, city workers, same thing.
Please let me reply to HCFG:
I watch the blogosphere because I’m morbidly curious and frustrated with people’s ignorance about what it takes to support millions of people on a 23 square mile island that, on a summer day, demands and consumes over 13 billion watts of electric power, among other commodities. By any measure, NYC has the most sophisticated and most reliable electric system in the world and we serve the most demanding customers in the world in a very highly regulated environment.
The infrasturcture of NYC is a miracle of design, construction and operation that our customers take for granted. We are victims of our own success. Everyone hates a monopoly.
You guessed right, my friend. I’m not a PR guy, just some jerk who works for Con Edison.