HCFG: “I would love some oatmeal cookies, are there any more of them still around?”
Lisa: “You asked me to hide them so they wouldn’t tempt you, remember?”
HCFG is speaking slowly and carefully: “Right, I did. But that was last week. Now I’m requesting a few cookies so will you please bring me a handful?”
Lisa: “No.”
HCFG is shocked: “No?”
Lisa says firmly: “That’s right, no.”
HCFG is increasingly agitated: “What do you mean NO?!”
Lisa: “We agreed you would only eat sweets with lunch. Now it’s bedtime and I’m respecting your request not to give you any cookies at night.”
HCFG sounds pitiful: “But… I want some!”
Lisa is having way too much fun with this: “Them’s the breaks, Cowboy. Life is hard sometimes.”
HCFG changes tactics: “Pleaseeee? I just know my wonderful girlfriend who takes such great care of me wouldn’t mind giving me a few cookies.”
Lisa smirks: “Not happening, sorry.”
HCFG grumbles: “It’s really annoying when you’re being all supportive of my weight loss efforts.”
Lisa: “I hear ya.”
It certainly was a lot of fun ratcheting through all the manipulative behavior modes that were ineffective in my youth and discovering that they’re equally ineffective in middle age. Lisa describes my attempts to elicit pity through sniveling; major whining; appeal to reason; indignation and, last but hardly least, brazen flatttery. Lisa and I were both grinning like fools the whole time we went through this ritual. Sometimes it can sure be fun to act juvenile…
The good news is that Lisa’s support on the big New Year’s Resolution seems to be working. I’m a guy so I don’t want to alienate female readers by saying how much weight I’ve lost in the last two weeks (since I’m a guy and we lose weight 2x or 3x faster than women with less effort at the start of a diet), and I don’t want to embarrass myself by saying what percentage of my overall goal this represents. But I’m off to a good start to achieving the goal of weighing what I did when I started my junior year of college (I porked out a bit during senior year) by my birthday over the summer.
I’m really glad that Lisa makes a lot of boring mundane everyday life stuff more fun. Thanks, babe! Mwah!
–HCFG
I think use of the term ‘cowboy’ is most effective.
Don’t you hate it when our women listen to us?
Congrats on sticking to your guns, Lisa! And HCFG: SHADDUP about the weight loss!
I hate it when my husband diets with me, since he usually proclaims “DONE” in about 3 weeks, while I watch every calorie for months!
This reminds me of that one episode of the “Cosby Show” when everyone ganged up on him because he wanted dressing on his salad. (Only more emasculating….)
Imagine wanting dressing on your salad! What is he, Caligula over there with all that debauchery? When women start letting men have dressing on their salad, buy a Visgoth dictionary, because htat is what you will be speaking pretty soon!
If this is oatmeal cookies, I would hate to see what happens when he wants a motorcycle. Or three-way sex with one of your hot friends.
That sums up my problem in life, in one six-word sentence.
I always give them the cookies.
@ HCFG: Never a dull moment, Darlin’!!!
And in case anyone was wondering, HCFG found the cookies the next day and scarfed them up for breakfast. ON MY BIRTHDAY!!!
@ Rhea: Thanks, I thought so!
@ Vince: You say it and we of course obey
@ Nat: Yes, dieting with HCFG is extremely annoying for the reasons you listed!!! I also think he should “Shaddup.”
@ Zen: You mind works in intriguing ways, my friend.
@ GW: Hand over the cookies and no one will get hurt!!! He He
I don’t have much of a sweet tooth, but oatmeal raisin cookies sound marvelous right now!
That’s the way the cookie crumbles.
Men are such cookie monsters. But deep down, they’re still doughy in the middle
Hi Lisa…it’s now Feb 01…did HCFG get any cookies yet?
Hey, Lisa B! I think this was a “negotiaton”
) But I still admire his change of strategy!!! You sound like you are having fun and I LUV this!
I think that you should come to my house and keep me in check! I need someone like that here.
I’ve been so good for so long it scares me. I could possibly crumble like just so many cookies and eat anything that’s not tied down. I know exactly how he feels. And it is annoying when Cathy tries to help me and twice as annoying when she is no help. But life is good and I’m determined not to waddle through it in my fat clothes. Hang in, HCFG. Lisa knows best.
I would like to weigh what I did as a baby. But getting down to 6lbs 6 ounces might not be a good thing. I need to set new goals.
When HCFG requested your help, he should have put a seven-day limit on his request!